Balancing

Balance is a funny one. I didn’t question what it was or why I needed in my life or how it should look until this year, until I started to become more aware of how I functioned best. And the strange thing was that balance, as prescribed by everyone else I’d ever listened too, wasn’t balanced at all to me.

Balance for me is doing things when I actually want to. That to me is true balance, as dictated by my body which innately knows how to keep itself in balance anyway.

When I do things to extreme it’s usually because I’ve been going in the opposite direction too hard for too long and this act will right the balance.The rest of the time I am happily living in a state that suits me, no matter how it might look to other people.

It’s so simple. It’s so logical. It’s like a revelation to me.

And I think that is the hardest thing about achieving balance. It might not look balanced to other people. My life doesn’t look balanced to my partner but you know what, he suffers when I try to live any other way because I am suffering. It might not look right but even he can tell when I’m in my sweet spot.

And that is what balance is for me…my sweet spot…no matter how unbalanced it may seem.

Challenging…

I like to think that I always see challenges as good things. When people ask me why I moved to Vancouver I always say ‘for an adventure!’. Sometimes thought I forget to see the good in challenges, to see them for what they really are…

Opportunities to grow into something more.

:: What is challenging you the most right now? And how can you be grateful for it? Right this moment I am challenged by my relationship. Loving someone does not mean you don’t want to throttle them sometimes!

I am challenged by the ever evolving, dynamic reasons why I feel compelled to make Art. Sometimes they are so tangible I could kiss them. Other days it’s a feeling, just a knowing, that if I don’t sing…if I don’t put pen to paper…if I don’t transform something today, even just a pile of books or clothes on my body…I will stop being who I truly am. I am grateful that I am compelled  to create whether I can comprehend why I do it or not.

I am challenged by the scope of the things I dream of doing: the album I’ll record, the book I’ll write, the course I’ll offer, the performances I’ll give, the home I’ll build, the people I hope to touch. Sometimes I feel like I could fly. Sometimes it all weighs on top of me like a pile of bricks. I’m grateful that I have beautiful dreams, like stars, to aim for!

:: Reflect on one challenging thing you did this year… I commited to learning about myself this year. I challenged myself to grow and be aware and see what came of it.

And what came was adventure, a job I love, a proposal, plans for the future, a course offered and well received, Art made, ideas percolating, more direction than I’ve had in years. Not bad for a years work!

I can’t see the direct thread from this close in time but I KNOW that it’s not an accident that when I get curious about myself and my inner-workings my life took on a very different shape. Yup, don’t understand it but feel it to be true. I would like to thank my trusty journal for holding my hand, it’s been emotional!

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What am I up to? RADVENT!

It’s a 24 day round-up, look-back, reminisce of the year created my Princess Lasertron and followed by interesting peeps the blogophere over. You can find all the details here and Princess Lasertron’s Day 1 post with a list of other participants. I love a good advent project (see 12 days of Craftmas as proof)…

‘Tis the season to take stock and be grateful!

Tuesday Night’s Ladies Club

(*disclaimer: I think it works better if you say it out loud…)

Women circle Women

Circle closer circle

Closer to their truth

Holding space

Carries truth carries

Water running closer

Nourish roots.

Haiku

Nothing freaks me out more than the thought of Poetry being ‘done’ in one go…mainly because nothing thrills me more than MESSING around with a poem after I’ve captured it. How dare you steal my thrill one-draft-wonders!

I pin down the gist of things with a few ham-fisted phrases and then gear up for the delicious act of peeling apart these glorified place-fillers until I hit on what I truly want to evoke. Ah! Blissful!

NaPoWriMo seriously squashes that one. All I can think about at the moment is the poem I published on the first day, cringing at the thought of its rough edges and day-dreaming about how I’d tweak it into shape. I should be thinking about my next offering but I’m distracted by the joys of noodling and fearful of published crap.

So here is my ‘BIG CRAP POEMS’ DISCLAIMER:

Dear Reader,

Please know that all my poems written and published through the month of November 2011 will be crap. I thank you for being so kind in your critiques and comments and bearing this fact in mind.

On the 1st of December 2011 I shall be removing ALL poems published in November so they be treated to some tender, loving drafting…even poems deserve some love at Christmas…I will re-publish them only when I feel they are properly risen and baked and those which flop in the middle may never be seen again!

Thank you for you understanding in this matter.

Yours sincerely,

Parisa

Poet & Principle Firestarter at LLFs.

And with that said, now back to my regularly scheduled poeming…

If you are in Vancouver and want to join the fun, there is still time, but as of 7pm PST, the inaugural Creative Scaffolding will have begun!

If you don’t know what I’m talking about then slink over here for all the happenings that shall be going down for the next 4 weeks. My brain-child is finally about to see the light of day and as with the conclusion of any labour (of love/children/farmwork) I’m blinkin’ tired. So happy and so tired.

I can’t wait to share elements of it with you over the next few weeks, especially having started a new creative project yesterday. What an opportunity to show you my own creative process!

I’m also working on turning Creative Scaffolding into an online offering that anyone, anywhere can take part in, with enrolment starting December 1st and kicking off in January 2012! Thank you to everyone that voiced an interest in taking part in this, it has been your words of encouragement that have spurred me on in this mammoth endeavor.

I create this offering in the hope of being of service to you in the highest way.