So this is the incredible paradox of Being Me (and I sincerely hope you too…go on, be a paradox with me so I don’t feel like a complete eejit!)…
I don’t sleep. I procrastinate going to bed. However I also need lots of sleep. Yup, you read that correctly.
I actively do not sleep but I also, actively sleep lots.
I’ve been thinking about this recently as I have been feeling tired. I blame the move. I did good at first. I packed. I said goodbye. I flew. I arrived. I shlepped stuff to places. I did lots of yoga and lots of exploring the new city. I went to bed early. I got up early.
Now I am freakin’ tired and sleeping for 12 hours, with some cat naps on the side, is not entirely out of the question. I have also been feeling super inspired and these lightning bolts of inspiration and energy hit me at bedtime. (Interesting Factoid – my maternal Grandfather was struck by lightning as a young man and survived!)
So what to do? This Paradox needs her rest! Her rest is key to creating high-quality creative stuff. The ‘early to bed & early to rise’ cycle helps get all the creativity juicy and rich, the ideas flowing. Now I want to actually create it and it wants to be created at 3 in the morning! And I’m a procrastinating SUCKER and will stay up and do it, even with obligations the next day.
I think that to dream is human but to Create, Divine. But I also think that to burn yourself out is all too human and to Sleep is Divine! I need both these things, obviously, in my life but I can’t seem to balance them for love nor money.
I think that is because I am letting the Creativity take priority. Creativity is an electric-blue high when it descends on you, what flying must feel like. It’s potent and addictive and somehow sacred, something you shouldn’t turn away.
“I don’t want to turn away that feeling from my life! What if it never comes back?!”, my Ego says. Way to scare me out of bed and right to where you want me most. Tired, cranky, vunerable and striving hard.
So I’m here to Defend the Rights of Sleep…
(…cue national anthem of wherever you are and flag fluttering in the background, your eyes misting over slightly with pride…)
~ To be indulged at will
~ To be of sound quality and length
~ To be dream-full and content
~ To be protected from external forces that wish to side-line and marginalize it
I find these truths to be self-evident, and worthy of protection!
» Are you with me?!